Recently Professor Stephen Marmer, who is a psychiatrist at the UCLA Medical Center (Go Bruins!), gave one of the most insightful presentations I have ever heard. It was sponsored by Prager University and entitled “It’s Time to Grow Up,” and it discussed the process of maturing into genuine adulthood. Dr. Marmer began by saying that no one matures without effort and, laughingly, also says that it can take 50 years to overcome our first 20 years. So what does it take to mature? Dr. Marmer lists five qualities that are found in mature people, which are:

  1. They Take Control of their Lives. We obviously have no choice about where, when or to whom we are born, but we always can chart how we will respond to whatever comes our way. People waiting to be rescued or seeing themselves as victims not only doesn’t work, it is self-defeating.
  2. They Take Responsibility. This means that mature people will fulfill two criteria. The first is that they will acknowledge their mistakes and not blame others for them. And the second is that they will voluntarily take on obligations and fulfill them, not as burdens but as being in the natural order of things.
  3. They Contain their Emotions. Immature people lash out at bosses, employees, spouses or anyone else that is convenient when things don’t go their way, or turn to abusing alcohol or other mind-altering substances. On the other hand, mature people express their emotions in the right place and at the right time. Of course all people have emotions, but mature people do not “let go of the steering wheel” when things go poorly.
  4. They Have Perspective. Mature people will put disappointments into perspective, learn from them and actually get stronger each time when they recover. In that regard, the timeless advice to King Solomon of “This too shall pass” is key. Similarly, when they are disappointed with the actions of other people in their lives they will consider the disappointment in the context of their entire relationship.
  5. They Achieve a Higher Understanding. That means they go to the effort of understanding the thinking and reasoning of others. For example, they will repeat back the words of other people’s positions and ask if that is what they meant. No one can be against someone else’s position unless they actually can articulate what it is.

To me this is important stuff both to use in our own lives and also to use in helping to mentor our young people. So that is why I am passing it on to you. In these times, we need all of the help that we can get, and I believe Professor Marmer has provided some of that help! What are your thoughts?

Large sign posted outside an empty airplane hangar: “Air and Space Museum” (Oh well. . .)

And, for those of you who are interested, I will be the host of a podcast at 7:00 p.m. each Tuesday in September discussing Libertarian issues. For more information, and to sign up to attend one, or all, of the presentations, please go to https://judgegray.webscientistsfunnels.com.

Judge Jim Gray (Ret.) Superior Court of Orange County, California 2012 Libertarian Candidate for Vice President

As stated above, feel free to listen to our radio show entitled All Rise! The Libertarian Way with Judge Jim Gray as we discuss timely issues and show how they will be addressed more beneficially by employing Libertarian values and approaches. The series has concluded, but you can still hear any edition On Demand by going to https://www.voiceamerica.com/show/3883. And, by the way, these 2 Paragraphs columns are now on my website at www.JudgeJImGray.com, Facebook and LinkedIn at judgejimgray, Twitter at judgejamesgray, and wordpress at judgejimgray.wordpress.com. Please visit these sites for past editions, and do your part to spread the word about the importance of Liberty. In addition, my new book with the same title as my radio show is now available at Amazon.com. Please read and discuss it with your friends, and send in a review.